Embracing the Fourth Trimester Together

How community can make a difference

By Kai Shenandoah Forsley

You’ve prepared the nursery, read all of the books, and taken all of the classes. Or not. Either way, the time has come. The baby is finally here. While pregnancy and adoption journeys can feel like a whirlwind of research, appointments, and activity, the “welcoming baby home” phase can feel like falling off a cliff into the unknown. Through all of the happiness and elation, things like sleep deprivation and uncertainty began to take center stage. Welcome to the fourth trimester: that critical period just after the baby arrives, when many parents become overwhelmed as they are suddenly thrust into the role of infant caregiver 24/7.

All of the hard work and isolation can be difficult. Postpartum mood and anxiety disorders (formerly postpartum depression) affect one in five new mothers. Some fathers could possibly suffer from mental stressors after welcoming a newborn. Many parents and caregivers feel the pressured expectation that they must figure caregiving out alone and this is simply not the case.

Over 30 years ago, Many Mothers was founded on this exact realization: that parenting can, and should be, a community sport. Our founder, Anne McCormick, witnessed so many families leaving hospitals without support and guidance. Beyond the physical trauma of giving birth, there was added emotional trauma due to lack of community. She felt the dearth of support services for perinatal families was unacceptable – and fixable.

Though our support services have grown over time, our cornerstone program remains rooted in a compassionate gesture: a community member showing up at a parent’s doorstep and asking, “What do you need today, in this moment?” Our home visiting approach honors the caregiver in a way that empowers rather than instructs, that listens rather than lectures, and that validates rather than judges. Ultimately, via all of our offerings, Many Mothers seeks to foster a peaceful, stress free environment for caregivers to thrive.

Today, New Mexico has taken great strides in providing support to new parents and babies, and continuing to build this community of care is essential to strong, healthy family units. State organizations like the New Mexico Department of Health and the New Mexico Early Childhood Education & Care Department as well as our many community partners continue to provide vital and necessary lifelines to families of all types. Through Many Mothers’ work with thousands of families, we have observed a few trends in what makes the biggest difference during this period of adjustment. Here are five essential tips that help new parents navigate the fourth trimester, possibly, successfully.

Prioritize Rest

Many Mothers started as an organization primarily focused on rest, relief, and healing for the birthing mother. And while this remains our framework, we’ve grown to recognize that the transition into parenthood demands restoration for the entire familial unit. Recovery looks different for everyone. Some parents focus on physical healing and regaining strength, while others prioritize socioemotional wellbeing. For many caregivers, financial challenges add another layer of complexity. But regardless of everyone’s unique journey, sleep and rest are key. Sleep deprivation is a real health crisis among new parents, particularly new mothers. Caregivers are expected to provide unwavering support for a new life yet can’t function due to their own lack of rest.

This is where Many Mothers’ intentional and personalized home visiting support becomes essential. While sleep is universal, rest may manifest differently. We partner with each family to understand their unique needs for rest and offer companionship as they work toward it.

Physical Wellness Is Possible

Santa Fe has lovely city trails that are conducive to gentle walking with strollers. While high intensity workouts have their place, after birth healing may restrict intense exercise for weeks or longer. In the meantime, fresh air and gentle movement can be restorative for mind and body. Soon, Many Mothers hopes to incorporate a hiking group geared towards infant caregivers and very young children into our weekly programming. For now, here are some noteworthy flatland hikes: Bicentennial/Alto Park to John Griego Vietnam Memorial Park & Beyond, a peaceful river walk with paved sidewalks and ample parking at trailheads. Frenchy’s Field, with accessible parking and a scenic walking loop with paved trails. Frank Ortiz Dog Park, providing established paths for families pushing strollers, accessible parking, and scenic trails. Dog owners here do allow their dogs off-leash. San Isidro Trail, a paved segment of the Santa Fe River Greenway, with accessible parking located at San Isidro Crossing.

Get In Community (And Stay There)

As an introverted person, getting in community can be stressful and scary. When talking to another human being causes heart palpitations, “community” can be the last thing some new parents feel would help them in their new caregiver healing journey. Many Mothers utilizes a mix of self-guided community, like our indoor play space, as well as interactive community, like our movement classes that engage the entire family. Peer support can also serve as a useful tool. While all of our Family Center activities and spaces are curated, the friendships that form here, tend to be very organic.

Our group gatherings such as United In Motherhood, Unidas en el Posparto (conducted in Spanish), and The Village: Parent Togetherness create space for authenticity in judgement-free environments.

Accept Help Without Guilt

Many Mothers’ volunteer model is something we hold tight to. Our volunteer to staff ratio is 12:1. We run on volunteers and these volunteers give so freely. They want to be there for families. Says Many Mothers’ volunteer Chris Kelly, “Whenever I tell friends about how happy I am volunteering in this way, they ask if there’s a Many Mothers in their town.”

Home visiting volunteers are part friend, part postpartum doula, part sounding board. Whether holding a newborn while a caregiver showers, naps, or eats a meal, or whether the volunteers spend their time with an older sibling, our support adapts to the needs of clients. Having a regular presence in the home transforms these visits from helpful interruptions into genuine relationships. All new parents should be encouraged to receive as part of their healing cycle. The first few weeks should be reserved for healing, feeding the baby, and resting; everything else is a bonus. Consider keeping a running list of helpful tasks, so when someone asks “How can I help?” you can suggest specific things that truly make a difference.

Take Mental Wellness Seriously

Mood changes during the fourth trimester shouldn’t be ignored. Don’t wait to reach out to your healthcare provider for solutions and recovery options. Your mental health is just as important as your physical health, and seeking support early can significantly impact how you navigate healing. In addition to Many Mothers’ in person support, our research has shown that new mothers want flexible and remote options for mental wellness, such as peer support and therapy. As part of our commitment, Many Mothers offers access to telehealth therapy. Sometimes talking to someone outside of your inner circle can spark aspects of healing that may be hard to find through family and friends alone.

Kai Shenandoah Forsley is the executive director of Many Mothers and the founding director of Many Mothers Family Center. Many Mothers’ staff, volunteers, and board members work to provide a caring community that nurtures and supports the health, well-being, and happiness of all mothers, infants, toddlers, and their families.